


(Un)Certainty

by im_the_king_of_the_ocean



Series: Pride Month Ficlets 2K18 [8]
Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Demisexual!Toby, Gen, being outed but everyone is supportive of your identity, that's sort of a spoiler i guess but that's also sort of the point of the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 15:56:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_the_king_of_the_ocean/pseuds/im_the_king_of_the_ocean
Summary: Toby accidentally gets outed as demisexual but finds the trolls are 100% supportive





	(Un)Certainty

There were certain things, certain truths, known throughout the Arcadia High student body.What the various cliques and friend groups were.What passing gossip was popularly spoken of.What was only whispered when it didn’t seem like anyone was listening.Where to find the ice cream sandwiches in the cafeteria’s freezer.How to get there when none of the faculty was looking.There were some things that always remained the same.Other things, fluctuated on a weekly basis.

A prank involving the school’s mole costume that got its regular wearer temporarily suspended (through the next game) from wearing it would be forgotten after a few days.But an ongoing, clearly evident feud between two best friends who everyone knew had been close since their diaper days?Talked about for the entire week while it lasted.Mostly on the grounds of curiosity of what exactly had caused such a rift.Well, that, and it was a slow period for gossip.Even Mary Wang hadn’t been able to get a good scoop anywhere.The kids needed to talk about _something_.

Toby wished they’d all just go back to ignoring him (and Jim) already.

No, he wasn’t avoiding _Jim_.He was _avoiding_ what Jim wanted to talk about.Jim just didn’t get It.Get how bad this was.Nobody tried to say Jim’s sexuality was something he was making up or that it didn’t really exist.Not in the same ways they talked about Toby’s demisexuality.That it was just _normal._

Look, Toby had _tried_ to be normal.He’d tried for years, even before high school when things really set in with crushes (or lack thereof), figuring out the whole “dating” thing, and all that.He’d watched as his classmates stumbled through their first romances and relationships.Witnessed Jim’s crushes and failed attempts to talk to those he had crushes on.Toby had wondered when Those Feelings would set in for him.They never did.Not really.He just didn’t feel that way about _anyone_.

And he couldn’t really imagine himself with Those Feelings for anyone either.Not unless he already knew them rather well (cause appearances and first impressions really wasn’t enough to go on with that kind of thing).Toby knew he would like to be in love, but he wanted there be to be a deeper feeling.One you couldn’t just have with someone you didn’t really know and then happened to get a crush on anyway.An emotional connection, he realized at some point, was the missing piece he’d been looking for.

It took Toby a while to find the word demisexual, but when he did, he realized it fit.

For a while, it didn’t matter that no one else really got It or accepted him.Except Jim, because Jim was, well, _Jim._ The idea that Toby’s best friend would leave him over his sexuality was unimaginable.Jim had been the first person Toby texted when he found his label and, so far, the only one to celebrate outright with him at its discovery.As long as he had Jim, everything would be fine.Awesome sauce, even.

And then the trolls had found out.

Toby and Jim had been relaxing in Blinky’s library after a particularly rigorous training session.Joking around.The usual.Since they were alone and safe, they’d started joking about the lack of straightness between them.

And then Blinky had walked in.

Right as Toby was saying something about demisexuality.

Blinky had asked what that was.

Toby had bolted.

He hadn’t been back to Trollmarket since.He knew he should, but he just couldn’t bear the thought of the trolls being…being like Nana, who didn’t really understand it and always looked puzzled whenever he tried to explain.She loved him no matter what, she told him regularly.But it would just be nice if she _got_ It.

And ARRRGGGHHH!!! and Blinky?

His wingman, Toby was scared would be too much like Nana.He was one of the smartest trolls Toby knew.But it still took him a while sometimes to sort out new ideas in his head.What if he didn’t get there with this one?What if—sometimes it felt like ARRRGGGHHH!!! was the only one who truly understood him.Toby didn’t want to lose that.

Blinky.Blinky was even worse.He’d probably want to dissect every last bit of Toby’s identity.He’d ask ten thousand questions and try to poke holes in it.Blinky would probably try to tell him it didn’t make sense.That demisexuality _couldn_ ’ _t_ be real because of x, y, or z reason.Because of some troll story or something that didn’t really translate to humans.Toby would start to doubt himself again and, and it would be worse than chicken surprise day in the school’s cafeteria. 

Yeah, no.Toby wasn’t going to even consider that one.At all.

So Toby avoided the trolls and Trollmarket, and Jim who wanted to talk to him about it.While everyone around them at school gossiped about what could have gone wrong between them.

It wasn’t exactly a fun time of his life, to be sure.

Toby was relieved when he didn’t see Jim in the yard at lunch that day.It was the hardest to avoid him there.They didn’t have all their classes together and Toby could generally ignore Jim’s notes in the ones they did.When they were both home, Jim generally gave him his space.Though, that one Toby was a bit guilty about.With his mom’s work schedule, Jim didn’t exactly have anyone else to talk to unless he went to Trollmarket.

A part of Toby knew he should just talk to Jim already.Longed for that, really.Toby missed his best friend.He honestly kind of hated what he was doing.But a stronger part of him liked Trollmarket and the trolls and all the adventures.If he didn’t address the fact he’d been outed, nothing had to change.Not really.Toby wouldn’t have to deal with the fact they potentially wouldn’t accept him.He could just pretend like nothing, nothing at all, had happened and…he didn’t know.He was making this up as he went and he had a bad feeling he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

Toby felt a tap on his shoulder.He nearly jumped, but it was just the school’s mole mascot costume.Or rather, Darci in the costume.

“Oh.Hey, Darce.”He tried to make his voice lighthearted, but didn’t really manage it.

The person in the costume maneuvered one of its arms so it was handing Toby a piece of crumpled paper.Toby took the paper.It read:

 

_Meet me by the soccer field after school._

 

“Um, ok.Can’t we just talk now?While—”Toby looked all around, but Darci was gone.“Well, that was weird,” he said to himself.“Wonder what’s going on?”

* * *

“Hey, Darci?You here?”Toby walked around the soccer field, but no one was there.“This better not be a prank.”He added a bit louder. _And there better not be some kind of mud monster, either.I’m definitely not in the mood to deal with one of those._ He added mentally.

Movement caught Toby’s attention.One of the mole costume’s arms waved at him from behind one of the trees at the side of the field.He started walking over.

“Seriously, Darci?You’re being really weird.What’s going on…” He trailed off as the mole costume’s head popped off and it was Jim underneath instead of Darci.

“Sorry, Tobes, but I couldn’t think of a better way to do this.”Jim shrugged sheepishly.

Toby turned to go.So that was it, huh?His best friend had resorted to trickery?

“Wingman.”

Toby froze at ARRRGGGHHH!!!’s voice.Turned around.The big troll was hiding in the shade the trees provided from the sun, but it was still dangerous for him to be here while sunset was still hours away.How had he…?

“Miss wingman.”ARRRGGGHHH!!! continued.“Sad you gone.Want make things better.Talk?”

Toby opened his mouth to tell his friends to go away.That there was nothing to talk about.But, but he was tired.And he really didn’t want to do that.He wanted to be able to be with them again.How exactly did he say as much, though?

Blinky stepped forward from beside ARRRGGGHHH!!! before Toby got the chance.“Both ARRRGGGHHH!!! and I would like you to know we fully support you and your identity.Master Jim has not explained anything to us.He said that was yours to tell, if you so wished to.Just know, whether or not you do, we support you.”

Though ARRRGGGHHH!!! didn’t say anything, he nodded.Toby had known him long enough to be able to read concern and care from the big troll’s body language too.

Toby heaved a sigh.Looked between the two.“But you don’t even know what it means.”

“No, we don’t.I would like to ask you a few questions to help clarify that.But only if you’re up for answering them.”Blinky went on, “I do not need to fully understand a subject to accept it.I do not know the full mechanical and magical process that’s required for making a gyre work, but I am able to see the gyre exists and functions regardless of my lack of knowledge.Though, I could, I suppose, research the subject and…I’m getting off topic.You have my apologies.”Blinky folded both sets of hands.“Master Tobias, over the time we’ve gotten to know each other, I have come to see you as a friend.I am deeply sorry that I have helped to create an environment where you felt unsafe opening up to us about a part of yourself that is of great importance.I hope to rectify that starting this very moment.You will always be welcome and accepted by us.”

“Yes, wingman.”ARRRGGGHHH!!! came forward.“No fear us.Love Toby.Always love Toby.”

“Awww, guys.You’re gonna make me cry.”Toby began to tear up.Then the old thought about Nana came back.Unease settled in his gut.The fact was, Toby did want them to understand.A lot.“But if I let you guys ask questions you aren’t like gonna try and prove to me that demisexuality doesn’t exist or anything?That I’m actually fooling myself and I’m really something else.Cause I mean, yeah that would…it wouldn’t be very cool.I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it.I know it’s what I am.I mean it might change later cause anything might change later.Like The Taco Shack may actually use one of my suggestions for once.Actually, that would be kind of awesome but totally not related.”Toby took a deep breath.“I know I’m demisexual right now and that feels good.I don’t need you guys trying to convince me otherwise or something.”

“Goodness gracious, no.You’re demisexuality, as you put it, is not, under any terms, up for debate.”Blinky answered.“However, I would like to have a definition so I may add it to my Human Dictionary, which, as you know, I’ve been trying to grow for quite some time.Actually, this is splendid.Now that I think about it, there has to be a parallel troll term.It would be fascinating to see if there’s more shared history between our worlds.Our communities share so much already—”

“Hey guys,” Jim finally spoke up, interrupting Blinky.“This may be a conversation best had in Trollmarket.Not at the side of the soccer field.I’m fairly sure there’s going to be a game later.We don’t want to be here when that happens.”

“Ah.You certainly are correct, Master Jim.Should we reconvene at Trollmarket?”Blinky looked between everyone in their small group.

“Hmm.Meet other trolls?Like Toby.”ARRRGGGHHH!!! looked to Toby.

“There’s trolls like me?”Toby asked.That was…he hadn’t expected that.

“An excellent idea, ARRRGGGHHH!I cannot say for sure if there are trolls like you specifically, Master Tobias, but Trollmarket does have a thriving community based around gender identities and sexualities.”Blinky turned to Toby.“I am sure you will find some who are welcoming there.We trolls may not be the most welcoming bunch to outsiders, particularly to humans.Though since Master Jim became the Trollhunter, I do feel that is changing.If very slowly.But our culture has accepted those of any gender and sexual identity for millennia.”He grinned.“So shall we head for Trollmarket?”

“Yes, let’s go.”Toby finally smiled.Things definitely were looking up.He breathed out and let go of his anxieties.

Jim asked Toby, “We good?” as they walked.

Toby answered, “We awesome sauce, dude.”He paused.“but you might wanna return that mole costume before Coach Lawrence realizes it’s gone.”

“Oh, right.”

 


End file.
